


A Bet Is Stronger Than A Dare

by Pisces21Red



Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Dare turns into a Bet, Fiona and V vs. Mickey, Ian is just along for the hilarious ride, Leggings, M/M, Mickey wearing leggings, That's all I got for now
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-06-15
Updated: 2014-07-03
Packaged: 2018-02-04 19:12:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,465
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1790086
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pisces21Red/pseuds/Pisces21Red
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mickey is challenged and Milkoviches never back down from a challenge...</p><p>...Even if it's something as degrading as literally showing his ass.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Originally supposed to be just one chapter but I couldn't figure out what I wanted the actual bet to be and I wanted to hurry and get this out there, so I just said fuck it and made the decision to make it two chapters instead.
> 
> I originally got inspired by a YouTube video that I watched a couple of weeks ago, big surprise, and the video and the dude are so fucking funny, the link to it is all the way at the end; they're both really a must watch.
> 
> And then after reading semperferox's amazingly, hilarious story 'The Power Bottom in his Natural Environment', it just pushed me even more to get this story out there.
> 
> Enjoy.

V and Fiona’s eyes widen comically in shock when they see Ian and Mickey step into the backdoor entrance to the Gallagher kitchen.

Now, it wasn’t like it was an unusual occurrence to see the two of them walk in together or for Mickey himself to just walk in as it’s been obvious to everyone that they’re together and will most likely stay together with the way they act as if they’re already married and shit.

When they weren’t over at the Milkovich house playing precisely that- house, they would come over and hang with the Gallaghers when they wanted to get away from the sounds of Mandy and Svetlana fucking around…well Ian would hang with his siblings, Mickey would just reluctantly sit there and tolerate their nonsense.

But…V and Fiona’s eyes zero in on Mickey specifically.

“Oh, hey guys! We just got back from running…so refreshing, right, Mick?” Ian wraps his arm around the sweaty and heaving smaller male.

“Yea…refreshin’ my fuckin’ ass, I think my damn spleen or some shit exploded when I kept runnin’.” Mickey winces, holding his side and hanging his jacket and scarf up on the hooks by the door.

Ian chuckles and slips past Mickey to collect a couple of water bottles from the fridge. “Nothing exploded.” He says, handing his boyfriend the water.

“Well, it sure felt like it.” Mickey grumbles.

“Quit being dramatic, I think you did so go-”

“What the fuck are you _wearing_?” Fiona’s face is scrunched up in both amusement and disbelief at the Milkovich’s choice of outfit, with V cackling beside her.

“Fuck off…it was a fuckin’ dare.” Mickey mutters the last part but with the four of them the only ones in the house at this time, the proclamation is heard loud and clear.

V and Fiona burst out laughing at that, while Ian just smiles secretly, admiring his boyfriend’s attire appreciatively.

“What dare got you to wear _leggings_?” V gasps out in between bouts of laughter.

Mickey’s face is now turning a darkish red yet he’s trying so hard to keep from actually blushing in front of his boyfriend, V and Fiona. If he doesn’t, he knows he’ll never live it the fuck down, though he’s positive that him in some fucking leggings is what he’ll never live down regardless.

“Don’t fuckin’ worry about it.” Mickey gives Ian a stare as if saying “Don’t you dare tell them shit” but Ian ignores it and chooses to speak up.

“Well, long story short, we were in the middle of fucking and Mickey randomly dared me to do something and then I told him if I’m gonna do it, then he has to do something for me…so y’know, a win-win situation, I think it was fair.”

“Yeah,” Mickey scoffs angrily, “Un-fuckin’-likely. Show them your dare, Firecrotch.”

The women's eyes turn to Ian speculatively and he pulls his beanie off of his head and laughs at the twin gasps he’s greeted with.

“Ian…you dyed your hair _black_?!” Fiona exclaims and looks at V in astonishment, who gives her an equally surprised look.

“Yep, that was Mick’s dare for me; best part is he hasn’t been able to keep his hands out of it since I did it.” Ian says smugly.

“Mm…I can definitely see why, if you weren’t so into having dick in your mouth and didn’t already have a boyfriend who you fuck the daylights out of I’d be all over you in a _second_.” V says seductively, eyeing the now blushing Ian from head to toe.

“V!” Fiona screams mortified at the same time Mickey yells “’Ay!”

Veronica looks at them both innocently. “What?”

Fiona shakes her head at her friend and instead takes in her brother and his boyfriend.

Ian’s now pitch black hair is free of any type of gel and is instead ruffled and curled into different cowlicks all over his head. In the back, his hair has more of a fuzzy feel to it since he’s deciding to let his hair grow out of that half buzz-cut that he and Mickey have been sporting for a while. It honestly looks nice on him, if a bit weird to get used to, but it actually makes him look more mature than he already appears to be with what the stubble he's also got going on and his eyebrows are dark enough that he didn’t need to dye them.

The dark hair makes Ian’s eyes stand out and under the lighting in the kitchen as well as from the sunlight streaming in, they appear to be an endless abyss of emerald mixed in with turquoise and teal that just draws you in and it makes Fiona the slightest bit jealous, she’s always thought that Lip and Ian had the best eyes out of their fucked up big family.

“I think I like it.” Fiona nods to herself and smiles when she sees Ian flash a radiant one in her direction.

“Why thank you, Fi, I feel like a celebrity getting all this attention and these compliments.” Ian laughs goofily.

Mickey rolls his eyes and steps in the direction of the stairs, ready to just peel the constrictive fuckers clinging to his legs right the fuck off and collapse onto the bed to lapse into a coma; he’s so fucking tired from that ridiculous ass eight mile run Ian endured him through.

Wearing black leggings and light grey running shoes, along with a thick, dark grey pull-over hoodie that Fiona’s pretty sure belongs to Ian, Mickey looks downright adorable and every bit resembling that of a house wife or some shit like that.

He looks like what 90% of teenage girls go to school in during the winter, the only thing missing was the Ugg’s and Fiona’s also pretty sure about the fact that Mickey does not own a pair of the furry boots. And the only difference was the fact that the hoodie actually _covered_ Mickey’s ass, which Fiona appreciates and even though she’s about to go back on this, Fiona couldn’t stand when girls would walk around in leggings and she’d be able to see their bright ass thong and the full shape of their ass cheeks. Like, not every person in the world wants to see all that business going on down there. Half the world may be made up of horny ass males and lesbians, but there’s no need that shit needs to be showcased to everyone else.

Even though the hoodie concealed Mickey’s ass, it didn’t hide that the man actually has an  _ass_. It bulges out the slightest bit from beneath the hoodie and Fiona reasons that the Milkovich male has more ass than both she and V put _together_ , and she knows that they both have pretty full asses, so what the fuck does that say about Mickey's?

When Mickey is out of sight and is heard rummaging around upstairs, Ian turns back to the two women who are now giving each other mischievous looks.

“Do I even wanna know what you two are thinking about?” Ian questions cautiously.

“I think a bet can be stronger than a dare, don’t you?” Fiona queries with a twinkle in her eye.

-

“Hey, Mick.”

Mickey opens his eyes from where he’s resting on Ian’s bed, snuggled under the covers and pins the three figures standing in his room with an annoyed and tired glare.

“Fuck d’you guys want? I’m tired and wanna go to sleep.”

“Well, we want to interest you in a little bet.” V says slyly.

“What kinda bet?” Mickey has no idea what these three fuck-tards are up to but he figures he’ll entertain their nonsense for a couple of minutes before he conks out.

“Leggings.”

Mickey’s brows furrow in puzzlement. “What about them?”

“We’re betting that with your ass in those leggings, guys will mistake you for a girl from behind.”

It’s silent for a second and then the sentence registers, warranting Mickey to give them “are you fuckin’ retarded?” looks. “Get the fuck out, I ain’t got time for this bullshit.”

Mickey rolls over in the bed so that his back is facing the Gallagher siblings and their neighbor and closes his eyes ready once again to succumb to sleep.

“But it’s a bet so that means if we lose, you get-”

“I think I know what a fuckin’ bet entails, I’m just not interested.” Mickey says with finality.

Loud whispering sounds from behind Mickey and he rolls his eyes under his eyelids when he hears footsteps making their way closer towards the bed.

“Mickeeeeyyy.” Ian drawls out, leaning down so his lips rest against the edge of his boyfriend’s ear.

“What, Gallagher?” Mickey grumbles into the bed covers.

“If you agree to do it, I promise I’ll do that thing with my tongue you like so much.” Ian whispers hotly into the older male’s ear.

“You’re gonna do it regardless, you don’t need to bribe me with that shit.”

“But I’ll do it _whenever_ you like.”

Mickey takes a few seconds to think about it. Ian’s tongue is like a fucking gift sent from the damn Gods themselves and _Jesus_ the things he can _do_ with it. Mickey remembers that one time when the Gallagher had him spread out on the bed on his back, butt fucking naked, and the used to be ginger spent what seemed like an _eternity_ licking and sucking all over his body. It got to the point where Mickey had to push Ian away claiming that his body was seconds away from imploding on itself with how close the Gallagher got him to the edge of that precipice. _Christ_ , it’s starting to get hot in here.

But at the same time, there’s no fucking way in _hell_ he’s wearing those leggings again let alone wearing them as an experiment to see if men really only think with their dick and eyes, that shit’s already been established dating back to the ancient fucking times for fucks sake. Mickey may finally be able to admit he’s gay but he ain’t that fucking gay to go around and parade his ass around for people to ogle at like it was a full course meal comprising of a big ass, juicy, well-done steak, baked macaroni and cheese and some fucking steak fries. Christ, now he’s hungry.

“ _Fuck no_.” Mickey annunciates after he arrives at a choice.

Ian glances back over his shoulder and shrugs but V and Fi gesticulate that he keep trying, their eyes wide in impatience. Ian chooses to straddle the exhausted male still laying on his side, facing away from the door, and Ian begins peppering kisses all over Mickey’s face.

“Come on, baby, do it for me, please? I bet you’ll look so fucking sexy in them.” Ian murmurs in between the kisses.

“Ian, I just wore the damn shits this morning, you’ve already fuckin’ seen what I look like in them.” Mickey explains exasperated. Is it so fucking hard to just get a couple of hours of sleep? Hell, he’ll even settle for 10 fucking _minutes_ of sleep if these ass clowns leave him the fuck alone in peace.

“Yeah, but, the girls want to…” Ian struggles with the right word to use. “Revamp the outfit a bit, y’know?”

“No, I don’t know, and I don’t wanna fuckin’ know. So, unless you want your heart punched out through your fuckin’ chest, you and the pussycats should probably leave…like now.” Mickey half-heartedly threatens.

“Look, Mickey, at least hear our bet.”

“…Fine.” He says reluctantly.

“Alright, listen up, Milkobitch.” V starts clapping her hands together loudly.

Mickey jumps up from his horizontal position and glares at V. “Fuck’d you just call me?”

“I believe I called you-”

“Eh, V, just- forget about what she said Mickey. V,” Ian gives her a warning look. “Just explain the bet.”

“You, Mickey Milko _vich_ , have to wear leggings but you also have to wear a top that _doesn’t_ cover that fat ass of yours.” V explains teasingly.

Her smile gets wider when she sees that Mickey is fuming at her choice of words directed towards his backside.

“That’s it?” Mickey feels like he should dread asking that.

“Of course not,” Fiona steps in. “You have to wear a _thong_ , of _our_ choosing.” Fiona gestures to herself, V and Ian.

Mickey fucking knew he would dread asking.

“Are you guys smoking meth?!” Mickey explodes. “Why the _fuck_ would I wear a _thong_ , especially when you guys have a say in what kind it is and shit?!”

“Mick, relax.” Ian tries to placate his boyfriend.

“Don’t tell me to fuckin’ _relax_!”

“Alright, do you wanna hear the rest of the bet or not, Mickey?” Fiona expected this reaction out of the small Milkovich, but if they were gonna do this, then they needed time to set the whole thing up instead of standing here and listening to Mickey throw a bitch fit.

Fiona continues when the Milkovich falls silent, yet they can all tell that he's still seething on the inside.

“So, you’ll dress up in that. And me and V bet you that from behind guys will mistake you for being a woman instead of a man because of your…generous attribute.” Fiona snickers the last part out and that itself brings on another round of laughter from the two women.

“No way. That’s-” Mickey finds himself actually wanting to go through with this crazy shit if only it means it’ll be so pleasurable for him if he could prove these two bitches wrong.

“Oh come on, I thought you were-”

“-too fuckin’ easy ‘cuz you guys will automatically end up winnin’.” Mickey finishes explaining to the shock of the others.

“We gotta change it up a bit, y’know, to make it _fair_.” Mickey smiles devilishly and both Fi and Ian give him weary looks but V looks like she’s up for a real challenge.

They’re definitely going to get one.

 

<http://gallavichthings.tumblr.com/image/69635107780>\- Cameron Monaghan; wet hair after swimming home; I know it's only wet and not dyed but I couldn't help but imagine what he'd look like with dark brown or black hair, he actually looks pretty damn good like this.

<http://gallavichthings.tumblr.com/tagged/cameron+monaghan>\- Cameron Monaghan with stubble

<http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wngsO-Z4n7A>\- Yoga Pants Prank Part 1

<http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RlySZmiLgD0>\- Yoga Pants Prank Part 2

<http://archiveofourown.org/works/1763573?view_adult=true>\- semperferox 'The Power Bottom in his Natural Environment'; should read it if you already haven't but with how awesome this fandom is, I'm sure people were already all over it the second it was published like I was.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, yes, this was only supposed to be 2 chapters. However, I wanted to hurry and get another chapter up as I know it's been a while.
> 
> This is not going to be a long one, I just have no idea if I can sum the rest up of what happens in one more chapter or two more chapters, but I can definitely guarantee that this isn't going to be more than 4 chapters; no less than 3 but no more than 4.
> 
> From now on, if I'm uncertain how long something is going to be, unless it's a one-shot, I'm not going to pre-deteremine how long it's going to be as my fingers typing like to develop a fucking mind of their own for some reason. 
> 
> With that, enjoy reading.

A few days later, Mickey, Ian, V and Fiona piled into Mickey’s shitty car and since Mickey in the past had no reason to be going to the mall or whatnot, he let her and Fiona take the driver and passenger seats respectively.

Still sitting in the backseat of the moving car 30 minutes later, Mickey started to feel impatient. “The fuck are we goin’?”

“To the mall, Mick, relax.” Ian placed his hand on his boyfriend’s knee and tried not to feel too bothered when Mickey smacked it off.

It had been _hell_ the first year when Ian was diagnosed as being Bipolar, and despite all that, Mickey stuck by his side throughout it all. All of the doctor’s visits and prescription runs and the highs and the lows and dealing with Ian’s family as well as his own family, especially Yevgeny and Svetlana.

But through all of that, Mickey was finally out and his father had fucked off to who the fuck knows where, peoples’ only hope being he stay the fuck gone, and just because Mickey was no longer in the closet, Ian sometimes forgot that he still wasn’t all that open to PDA. Ian didn’t push but he knew that the disappointment shown all over his face would get to Mickey and he would roll his eyes harshly before leaning over and giving Ian a brief, yet meaningful peck on the lips, that spoke more than what a simple placement of hands does. Just like he did now.

Ian sat through the rest of the car ride to Woodfield Mall with a goofy smile on his face, blocking out Mickey’s complaints and V’s shouts at him to shut the fuck up already.

About 10 minutes later, they pull into the parking lot of the largest mall in Illinois, since they were no longer in Chicago anymore but in Schaumburg, Illinois instead, probably why it took so long for them to get to the mall.

“Why we gotta come all the fuckin’ way out here?” Mickey grumbled as V drove up and down rows of occupied parking spaces to find an empty one.

“’Cause they have a big selection of different stores _and_ we know how you,” Fiona turned around and looked at Mickey. “Mickey Milkovich, get all closed up and scared when someone from the hood recognizes you as being anything but the small, ex-con of a thug, Milkovich.”

Mickey bit his lip and then gave a sarcastic twist of his face, while he flips her off with both of his fingers. “How fuckin’ generous of you,” She turned back around laughing. “And what does the selection of stores have to do with anythin’? We just need one little thong.” Mickey pointed out. “We need more than one store for a flimsy piece of string?” He ignored Fiona’s jab about him being scared of people’s recognition as he secretly knew that she was right and after a few years of dealing with the other Gallagher siblings and their antics and comments, nine times out of ten, he’s just learned to turn the other cheek as Ian liked to say, gay-ly, Mickey might add.

Finally pulling into a parking spot that was unfortunately all the way towards the back, feet from the entrance of the mall doors, Veronica turned off the car, yanking the key out of the ignition and turning to Mickey.

“Oh, baby,” V started, overly sweet on purpose just to see Mickey’s reaction and when she saw him scrunch his face up in disgust at her using that name on him, she smiled wider. “You’re gonna need some variety, it’ll be too obvious if you kept the same outfit and underwear.”

“Wait-wait,” Mickey looked to Ian and saw that he had a soft smile on his face while V and Fi had similar Cheshire Cat smiles on theirs. “Just what the fuck you tryna’ say?”

“We’re gonna do a little bit of shopping, Mickey.” Fiona answered for him.

-

It wasn’t until another 10 minutes later that they actually stepped foot in the mall because Mickey had flipped out on them all within the confines of the car. He threatened that they take him back to the Southside before one of them loses a jaw but they all knew that he may act tough on the outside but he’s a little, fluffy teddy bear on the inside.

And then he sat back and crossed his arms over his chest like a petulant child and then proclaimed that he was just going to sit in the car. Fi and V had to tease and mock him about how he’s backing out of the bet because he’s afraid he’s gonna lose to get him to come with them into the mall to get this shopping shit over with.

“I can’t believe I’m here, doin’ this shit.”

The four of them found themselves in Victoria’s Secret looking at the open displays of different colorful underwear and bras and different sweatpants and shorts and shirts; shit everywhere. They went around opening the shiny, black and smooth drawers and Fiona and V were talking about buying some more underwear for themselves, while Mickey stuck close by Ian’s side, almost as if one of Victoria’s clothing items were going to jump out and attack him.

“What about these, Mick?” Ian was holding up a pair of stringy, black-frilled [underwear](http://thumbs2.ebaystatic.com/d/l225/m/m3T-svKlWeLlo4Ge824yCYw.jpg) and Mickey stomped over to him, snatching it out of his hands furiously. “What?”

“What the fuck you gotta be so loud for?” Mickey cautiously glanced at the other women and girls walking around the store, chattering away with friends/or family members, paying no mind to Mickey and Ian.

“No one’s even paying attention, Mick…” Ian said softly, carefully putting his hand on his boyfriend’s waist, trying to get his attention as the smaller male looks around himself.

“Whatever, let’s just move this shit along.”

“Oooh, nice pick, Ian.” Fiona complimented teasingly as she and V came over to the two men and V took the underwear Ian was holding up. “Shit, these are cute, may have to get myself a pair later on. We’re getting these.” Veronica said after she checked the price tag to make sure it was in her range of budget.

“Whoa, wait- hold on,” Ian, V and Fiona turned to Mickey at his loud protestation. “How the fuck can you even afford this bullshit? We live in the fuckin’ hood, remember? Why don’t we just steal this shit?”

“Not everybody needs to act like a thug all the time just to get what they want or need, Mickey.” Fiona rolled her eyes, moving onto another set of drawers.

“Exactly,” V backed up. “And don’t get caught up in the monetary value, me and Fi got it.”

“Are you guys sure? I mean I don’t want you guys spending all your money on this stupid bet.” Ian asked as he sifted through more underwear in the drawers, a worriedly, curious look on his face.

Fiona and V shared glances and then Fiona spoke up. “Well, we originally were gonna go to some cheap ass store to get the underwear and if that shit there was a little bit more pricey than we thought, then we were gonna let you have a couple of our underwear.”

“That’s fuckin’ disgustin’!” Mickey yelled, garnering some of the other customers’ attention.

“Right, we kinda thought so too, however it was one of the choices,” V continued. “But then me and Fi were at a club a coupla’ days ago and holy shit, this rich dude left his wallet on the counter while he went to the bathroom and he left it with his drunk ass friends, so…”

Ian and Mickey got the idea. They had snuck the dude’s wallet away from his friends, typical Gallagher and Ball fashion; teamwork. Ian chuckled while Mickey just shook his head incredulously. They talk about his family but for fuck’s sake Ian’s family wasn’t too far from his in terms of similarity. The difference being that the Milkoviches were more violent and didn’t really stick close together as a family, they just did their own shit and if they needed help or an extra set of hands for something, then the siblings’ would be initiated but other than that, they weren’t as close-knit as the Gallaghers were. Maybe he and Mandy were closer than their other siblings and father, but not like Ian is to his siblings and friends and vice verse.

“How much money did you guys take?” Ian asked.

“Shit, enough to last for a few months!” Fiona laughed out, picking up a pair of sheer, red [panties](http://thumbs1.ebaystatic.com/d/l225/m/moprp5k1-i3A2kskqeyWjdA.jpg) and shoving it into Ian’s hands. “We’re getting these.”

“Don’t I get some kinda say in what to choose?” Mickey looked at Ian, Fiona and V.

“No.” All three of them said simply.

Mickey clenched his jaw and looked away from them. He glanced around the whole store and frowned when he saw a few women looking in his direction. At first, he wanted to yell out to mind their own fucking business but he realized that they were staring at Ian, fucking _checking_ him out. It wasn’t something that was necessarily new to Mickey, the idea that girls and women would be checking Ian out, but it happened a little less often than when old and nasty old men did it. Regardless, it made Mickey feel like he was invisible since it wasn’t as often as Ian that he got hit on and most people couldn’t take a fucking hint, so more often than not, Mickey was forced to show his ass. There would be a little bit of a verbal bashing combined with some physical bashing, if it was a man. If it was a woman he’d give them warning and if they ignored it and continued to rub themselves up and all against his boyfriend, Mickey would yank them away. Until Ian pulled him out of whatever establishment they may be in at that point, Mick would get into a few fights, however pointless they may be.

Even now, seeing these girls giggle with their friends and bite their lips as they pointed at Ian and stared at his ass or when Ian turned around, they stared at his heavily, bulged crotch area and muscled chest and gorgeous eyes, his big hands holding onto some erotic underwear, Mickey wanted to go over and grab them by their bleached and extension-ed hair and throw their asses right out of the fucking store.

But he knew that if he did that, then they’d get kicked out of the store and it’d ruin the fun V and Fi and of course, Ian, are having and as much as he can’t stand V or Fi and the rest of their crazy families, they’re actually cool, _crazy_ , but cool and funny. And plus, they’re Ian’s family.

So, he did the next best thing.

He grabbed a fistful of Ian’s shirt, yanking him over towards him and wrapping a hand around the back of the taller male’s head, and ignoring his yelp of surprise, he pulled him down and smashed their lips together.

Ian, without hesitation, grabbed onto Mickey’s hips and reciprocated hungrily. Massaging their lips together with slow smacks, Mickey ran his tongue along the seam of Ian’s thick lips and was allowed instant access into the hot cavern, their tongues colliding wetly. Mickey’s knees nearly buckled and Ian felt faint with how intensely hot it felt along with the lack of air between them. Dropping the panties that he was clutching against Mickey’s hip blindly onto one of the dressers, Ian slid his hands down and grabbed onto Mickey’s ass cheeks, squeezing them and causing Mickey to let out a low groan into his mouth.

Though Mickey wanted to go further and possibly fuck himself on Ian’s dick right in the middle of the store, he broke the kiss and pulled back.

Ian leaned in for more but then Mickey patted him on the chest before pushing him away again. “Easy there, big guy,” he pulled Ian’s hands away from his ass. “I’m down with fuckin’ but not in the middle of a store with tits and vaginas walking all over the place.”

Mickey looked over to find the group of girls who were sizing Ian up and saw that three of the girls were glaring at him with annoyance written all over their features. _Yeah, fuck you too_. Mickey scoffed. The other girls were shocked and had blushes on their faces and eventually they walked off to somewhere else in the store.

Turning back to Ian, he saw the teasing grin on his face and he rolled his eyes since he knew what Ian was about to say. “Ah, don’t fuckin’ say anythin’ unless you want your teeth knocked onto the floor.”

“If you two lovebirds are finished rubbing all over each other, we found some more underwear for you.” V handed Ian all of the different panties and both Ian and Mickey raise their eyebrows.

“I ain’t dressin’ for a club full of guys, why the fuck do we gotta get so many?”

“Well,” Fiona approached them, dropping a couple more underwear into Ian’s hands. “You gotta understand, there’re different kinds of underwear and not all of these are thongs.”

Mickey reached over into Ian’s full arms and picked one of them up. “This is a piece of fuckin’ [string](http://imgs.inkfrog.com/pix/ravaseller/sheerblack.jpg)!”

“These are called G-strings. This,” Fiona explained, pulling another panty from Ian’s hands. “is a [thong](http://img0015.popscreencdn.com/102102243_victorias-secret-low-rise-brazilian-lace-thong-l-ebay.jpg) and so is [this](http://twomissies.files.wordpress.com/2012/11/s-lace-back-vstring2a.jpg?w=300&h=224) and [this](http://static---moetown55313.app-hosted.com/media/img/moetown55313/W900-H900-Bffffff/vs_panties/vsp110b.jpg).”

“Ok, that doesn’t answer my question. Why the fuck we gettin’ so many?” Mickey enunciated slowly.

“’Cause we have to pick which ones you’re gonna wear for each of the guys and we think they all look sexy, so we’re gonna buy them and you’re gonna try them on when we get back home.”

“What-what the fuck is this? America’s Next Top- I’m not tryin’ this shit on for you! We ain’t girlfriends!” Mickey exclaimed, throwing the underwear back into Ian’s arms.

“You have to, Mickey.” V came over and dropped one last pair into the ever growing pile of Ian’s arms. "What do you think of [these](http://thumbs4.ebaystatic.com/d/l225/m/m6aRcrifleu_v1iszo-GhQA.jpg)?"

“I don’t have to do anythin’," Mickey glanced at the underwear V was holding in her hands and he scrunched his face up. "Fuckin' hell, the fuck is that shit? I don't want a fuckin' ribbon at the base of my ass crack!"

V chuckled and threw the pair of ribboned underwear back onto the displayed underwear.

“You do if you wanna win this bet.” Fiona said.

Mickey glared at Fiona and opened his mouth ready to call her every name in the book but then closed it. She did have a point. Mickey wanted to win this shit so he can rub it in these bitches’ faces and then he’ll be done with it. A Milkovich never declined a challenge. Instead they accepted it and took it an extra step further. Like when he came out at Yevgeny’s christening or when Mandy told him about running over Karen to get that crazy bitch away from asshole Lip or threatened that female pedophile to get the fuck out of town or her ass was going in the ground for messing around with Lip.

From between gritted teeth, Mickey agreed. “Fine.”

“Alright then.” Fiona clapped, satisfied and she turned to V. “We ready?”

“Why am I the one holding all these? Isn’t this all for Mick?” Ian asked.

“You’re his boyfriend. Boyfriends hold their girlfriends’ stuff, even their underwear.” V joked.

“’Ay, fuck off!” Mickey gave the laughing V and Fi the middle finger and snatched all of the underwear out of the smirking Ian’s arms.

“They’re just joking, Mick.”

“Wait a minute,” Mickey waved Ian off. He knew that Veronica and Fiona were just fucking with him. “You guys don’t even know what size I am!”

“That’s why you’re gonna try them on at home.”

“So, what if they don’t fit? We just gonna throw them away? That’s a waste of fuckin’ money!”

“We tried to find underwear that looked close to your size, Mickey, relax.” V cut in. “And if they don’t fit, shit, I’ll take’em! These are some cute thongs!” V started to laugh once more and Fi joined in at the look on Mickey’s face.

“That’s fuckin’ disgustin’.” Mickey repeated from earlier.

“Oh, calm down, we’re all family!” V wrapped her arm around Mickey’s neck but he shook it off.

Mickey remembered the first time one of them other than Ian had said that he was family and he felt like his heart had fucking grew three sizes too fucking big like the goddamn Grinch or something. Mickey’s family was shitty, excluding Mandy, his Aunt Rande and maybe Joey and Iggy but his father was a piece of fucking dog shit wrapped up in a piss and vomit stained sheet and he really didn’t spend much time around Jaime and Tony unless somebody had to call in help for a hit. His mother ran off years ago when Mickey was just a baby and he guessed to get away from Terry and his abuse but overall his family life wasn’t happy and love-filled.

There were no Christmases. The most they did was exchange shitty gifts they had stolen from the store or other peoples’ houses, wrapped up in newspaper and that was only what he and Mandy did; Terry and their brothers would get high or drunk, sometimes bring women over or their friends and shit would get out of hand. There were no Thanksgivings. It was just the same like it was whenever Christmas came around, without the gift exchanging though. It was always just Mandy trying to cook something up for their dick-wad of a father and his homeless drunken buddies and Mickey would help out as much as he could, making sure none of the fuckers pulled anything sexual against Mandy.

Mickey found it ironic that Terry was a huge, radical, homophobic Nazi but a couple of his drinking buddies were gay because on more than one occasion, one of them has cornered him and said some crazy shit to him that he’s sure would make a fucking Pornstar blush and go into hiding. But Mickey would of course punch them in the fucking throat and leave like nothing happened. Terry never asked why a couple of his friends would come back into the living room bleeding or wheezing or both and Mickey always felt that that fucker knew and just didn’t care. After all, he was a fucking rapist too.

Point is, Mickey never felt the true feeling and pleasure of being a close-knit family. One that laughed, cried, mourned, ate, fucking even stole and scammed together. Though the Milkovich family ate together, it was always talking about running drugs, establishing some hits on people who owed money, it was always just business and there was always a tense and scared and uncertain silence that lingered horribly over the Milkovich table.

But it’s different with the Gallaghers. It’s happier and careless and of course there were times where shouting and yelling out of anger could be heard as one of the siblings go toe to toe, head to head with one another over some bullshit, but they quickly made up.

So, for someone from this amazingly close family to say that he, Mickey Milkovich, the child of Terry Milkovich, was a part of their family, it was definitely something that dare he say it, warmed his fucking heart. Mickey had left the Gallagher house that day because miraculously he could feel the sting of tears starting up behind his eyes. Ian had found him at the abandoned buildings an hour later and he remembered seeing the ginger’s eyes wide in shock at catching Mickey Milkovich crying.

It felt good to be called a part of someone’s family. Especially a family that’s considered to be the good and better versions of the Milkoviches yet still disliked around their neighborhood, especially by the police, well except for maybe Tony the cop. What the fuck ever happened to that dude?

Anyway, after that first time, he started to get used to the proclamation and he even called them his family when backing up Debbie against asshole dudes or helping Fiona and even Lip and of course Carl, ‘cause that kid’s a psychopath, out of a bind. He would even bring Yevgeny over to play with Liam and Debbie and V’s twins, Amy and Jemma, while Svetlana was busy at the Rub N’ Tug.

That feeling of overwhelming happiness and the fluttering of his heart never went away every time he heard it.

“Alright, whatever, pay for this shit so we can get the fuck out of this mall.”

“We still have to get you some leggings.”

Mickey stopped in his tracks on his way to the lines for the three open cash registers. “The fuck’re you on about? I have those nut-hugging tights already.”

“Stop it with the tough guy shit, Milkovich. You know damn well that those leggings are actually comfortable,” Fiona supplied with a disbelieving twist of her face, V mirroring her expression. “And when you try on these underwear, you’re gonna see why a lot of women, even girls wear’em.”

“Whatever, why the fuck we need more of those shits?”

“Because we’re gonna get you different colors!” V said taking the underwear out of his hands and moving up in line.

“I’m fine with black. I don’t need a whole crayon box of leggings.”

“Well, too bad, you’re gonna get some. The leggings here cost too goddamn much-”

“Just like the underwear hear cost too goddamn much?”

“-so we’re gonna go to another store.” Fiona continued as if Mickey didn’t even say anything.

“Don’t they have thongs for men?” Mickey asked as they became the second people in line and moved up. “Why’d we even have to come here?”

“Yeah,” V, Fi and Mickey turned to Ian, who looked sheepish and rubbed his head. “I kinda was looking at some pictures online after you guys were talking about Mickey wearing thongs.”

“I ain’t enough for you, Gallagher? You gotta look up other men just to see what a man wearing a thong looks like? You can’t imagine me in one, instead?”

“No, Mickey, that’s not what-” Ian spluttered.

“Yea, whatever, Firecrotch, just let me know when you feel the need to get your rocks off, I can leave you alone in peace with the laptop.” Mickey said, full of snark, closing his mouth when they get to the register.

The young blonde woman at the register, whose name tag read ‘Tracy’, looked up at all of them with a smile and she began ringing up the items. “Looks like you two women have good taste. These are really cute, I’m sure your boyfriends agree too.” She finished with a wink in Ian and Mickey’s direction.

V and Fi met each other’s eyes and then glanced over at Ian’s shocked face and Mickey’s disgusted one before busting out laughing.

The employee still ringing up their stuff slowed down and cocked her head to the side in confusion. Ian noticed and spoke up.

“Don’t worry about them, we had a couple drinks before we got here and they had one too-”

“Shut up, Ian,” V said as she and Fiona try to calm down their giggling. “That’s her brother and his boyfriend. They’re sexy but we go for _straight_ , _single_ guys, even though we already have our own men at home.”

“Oh…” The blonde woman places all the underwear in the bag and sneaks peeks up at Ian and Mickey.

Mickey raised his brows after she did it for the fifth time as Fiona was handing the money over, holy fuck their total was $433.75. “Is there a problem?”

Tracy stuttered in her shock at Mickey talking to her. “Uh, n-no, you two just don’t look…”

“Like a coupla’ fags?” Mickey supplied, biting his bottom lip harshly and thumbing the side of his nose.

V and Fi rolled their eyes, while Ian placed his hand on Mickey’s lower back. “Stop it, Mick.” He whispered in his boyfriend’s ear, looking around at a few people staring at them. Mickey could over-react his fucking ass off sometimes.

“No-no-no, that’s not what I was going to say, sir and I’d appreciate it if you didn’t put words in my mouth.” Her eyes hardened towards the end of her defense.

“Well, my fist is about to be in your mouth in a minute-”

“Okaaay, time to go,” Ian interrupted, grabbing the bag off the counter and seeing Tracy hand Fi back her change, he headed to the door of the store, dragging Mickey along with him. “Thank you, Tracy!” He yelled back before completely dragging Mickey out and into the walkway.

“Jeez, Milkobitch, you think you went a little overboard-” A full bag of underwear slapping in her face, prevented Veronica from finishing the rest of her scolding.

Ian and Fiona paused in their walking, their faces dropping in surprise and fear for Mickey’s life, as Veronica stood there in shock, her eyes narrowing in that same way when Kevin’s dumb bitch of an ex-wife insulted her man and she realized that Mickey had snatched the Victoria’s Secret bag out of Ian’s hands and slammed it into her face.

Mickey had a smirk on his face that just oozed the statement of “ _What now_?”

V took a couple seconds more to process everything and when she did she let out a loud scream and ran at Mickey.

Mickey stared at her and then when he saw that she wasn’t planning on stopping, he broke out into a run down the walkways of the mall, bypassing people as the angry woman chased after him.

What? She thought she could just call him Milkobitch for the second time in the last week and get away with it this time? Hell no. Mickey continued to run and he looked back to see Fiona and Ian keeping up behind V, he forgot that Fi was supposed to be some sorta running champion, running a mile in under six minutes or some shit and then Ian of course his eight mile runs every fucking morning explained everything. How the fuck can V run in those heels?

Mickey let out a loud laugh as he heard V cursing behind him and Ian and Fi laughing as they tried to talk her off his ass, people staring at them as if they’d lost their fucking minds. Looking back once more, his smile got wider when he noticed three security guards chasing after all of them. “Oh, shit!”

V, Fi and Ian turned around when they saw Mickey’s face and heard his exclamation and they too shared the same sentiment as Mickey. They forget about the possibility of V killing Mickey and they sprint together throughout the mall as the more security guards seemed to have joined in on the chase. Why the fuck are they even chasing them? Is it illegal to run in a mall?

Mickey saw an upcoming emergency exit sign and he knew that the others would follow him, so he goes out that door and stopped, trying to get a feel for where V parked the car, when he skidded to a stop on the sidewalk outside.

Breathing heavily with the exertion, Mickey heard the doors behind him open and V, Ian and Fiona stumbled out.

“We gotta keep going, they’re right fucking behind us.” Ian said and he didn’t sound or even look remotely winded like Mickey looked and felt, same thing with Fiona and Veronica, they looked like they didn’t just run at least what felt like a mile with security guards hot on their ass.

Mickey shook his head in disbelief and a tiny bit of envy of how fit they were cardio wise, he nodded at Ian’s suggestion and they sprint to the left when they hear the guards’ thundering footsteps getting closer on the other side of the door.

Getting the keys out of her purse as they run down rows of cars, V pushes the lock/unlock button and they hear the beep-beep from somewhere to the right of them. It sounded like it was in the distance and they let out a breath of relief before sprinting in that direction.

Ian turned his head and could see the guards still on their ass a good two meters or three away from them. Finally spotting the car, they hopped in, and V shoved the key into the ignition and quickly punched it right the fuck out of the lot. Ian collapsed back against the seat in relief and they drove in silence, all tense in case one of the guards caught Mickey’s license plate number and the cops were called in and were just waiting to pull their asses over.

V pulled into a strip mall this time and once they were parked and listened for a couple minutes for any sirens, they breathed a sigh of relief when they hear none.

Until V reaches back and slaps Mickey over the back of his head, _hard_.

“Ow! You fuckin’ bitch!”

“That’s what payback is sweetie.” Veronica explained smartly with a smug smile on her face.

“Alright, you two, you both got your vengeance so knock it off.” Ian said, looking at Mickey and Veronica pointedly.

“Why’d we have to go to Victoria’s Secret anyway? They sell man-thongs, so why couldn’t we just go to a store or somethin’ that had those?”

“’Cause we felt it’d be more fun if you were wearing women underwear, especially women underwear from Victoria’s Secret.” Fiona replied, shrugging her shoulders.

“Yep! And now let’s get you some leggings!” And with that V exited the car and Ian and Fi followed suit, Mickey once again reluctantly getting out of the car.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Found most of these images off of Ebay and the others were from random ass sites I'd never really heard of but whatever. 
> 
> I typed into google Victoria's Secret thongs and an ass-load of the images were of the models or random women wearing the underwear and frankly not only did I not need to see all that, but I wanted the audience to imagine Mickey in the underwear separately, not as it's attached to a mannequin or real live people.
> 
> And I know I have yet to really reveal the revamped bet but for some reason I can't come up with a viable and sensible bet that wouldn't determine who the winner is so easily, I want the bet to give both Mickey and V/Fi an equal chance at winning, so if you will, please be patient with that.
> 
> Thanks for reading.


End file.
